YOU CAN'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU

SOME TWEETS THAT I FELT DESERVED MORE ATTENTION, RECOGNITION & PRAISE. AND CERTAINLY MORE REPLIES & LOLs

AA Bottom #OppositeRockBands

.@DanSackheim There's nothing like Twitter to help boost self-esteem. At least that's what my therapist keeps insisting.

I may start attaching version numbers 2 my tweets so u'll hve a better idea of the mental anguish I go thru just 2 try 2 entertain U. (v1.7)

♪ I'd catch a parade for ya, throw my hand on some Glade for ya, jump in a puddle of rain for ya... #thingsiddoforyou ♪

@gibsonguitar "Nashville shows Hollywood the right way to remake a classic" (in response to a competition to come up with a 10 word or less description of the new Les Paul replica)

Remake everything #HollywoodPostItNote

"Sorry you didn't get retweeted today" #newHallmarkcards

PET TIPS: Never place your tortoise perpendicular to the wall. Also, during training, tortoises will respond best to a calm but strict voice

@OrangeyRoughy @hallmarkpr "Sorry your violent torpedo of truth was a dud" #topicalcards

#thingsyoullneverhearonTwitter : I wish Clangerfan1 would tweet more often.

Plane crashes on Island with lots of make-up, pretty people roughed up, MONSTER, JACOB, sexual tension, WTF, hatch, NO!, yes #LOSTINONETWEET

Was in a lrg grp of ppl tonite - spoke directly @ 1 of them & they REPLIED! Nearly passed out from shock. #mayhavebeenonTwittertoomuchlately

OK, decided to turn all my lights out for #earthhour. Fell over the cat, hurt myself very badly, having to be airlifted to nearest hospital.

#iseewhyyoumad ... because you are unable to string five words together into a grammatically correct sentence?

Twitter is to logic as elephants are to Venus.

Can life imitate Twitr? 2moro I'll print out my tweets, read them aloud as I walk thru town &see if I can get 168 ppl to fllw me. #piedpiper

#100factsaboutme FACT 38: I make beautiful mosaic pictures of celebrities out of crumbled bacon.

Fllwing the success of my 1st book "10 best ways 2 teach ur cat yoga", I'm working on my next: "10 best ways 2 teach ur tortoise to kickbox"

Un#ff Unfollow anyone who fails to use the word "spleen" in any of their tweets today. #randomdiscrimination